Wedding Party

Good Monday morning!

I hope everyone had a Happy Valentine's Day. This was the first time in 15 years I didn't attend a Valentine's Day party at an elementary or preschool. I didn't like that. For one reason, it means my kid's are getting old and for another, it means I am getting old. Either way, I missed it. However, Mike and I enjoyed a lovely breakfast at the Original Pancake House (our favorite breakfast date getaway). It's on Southside in Birmingham, and the omelets are to die for (as long as they have cheese in them). They are also HUGE. I like the strawberry crepes. Very light, tons of strawberries. He also surprised me with a dozen assorted colored roses. Beautiful. The picture of my roses is my Showcase Pic of the Week.

In the Gallery today, I've put a couple of pictures of Mr. Faulkner's birthday celebration. He turned 82 on Sunday, and we (except for Austin) went to Oxford to celebrate this special occasion. The Gallery is hurting a little bit because Austin will not be back from his mission trip until today at noon... at which time I better have at least 20 pictures. (That's not very many. I had to enlist the help of Melia and another friend, Peyton, to make sure he took the 20.) Anyway, tomorrow there will be Knoxville pictures.

Also, I will add some Froggy's pictures of Roxie and friends. That was her President's Day treat -- a day spent with friends on inflatables. She's also going on her date with her Dad tonight, so I'm hoping a benevolent waiter will take a picture or two at the restaurant of choice. So, as you can see, even though the Gallery is a little empty this morning, it should be completely full by tomorrow!

I've decided from now on, Friday's post will include my many musings on the episodes of Amazing Race, 24, Jon & Kate, LOST and Survivor. That will keep it organized and all in one place. (Of course, if things don't change soon, my musings on the LOST episodes will be reduced to ?????)

My Readership Count dropped to 32 a day (average), but I'm holding it together. I was a little bitter Sunday night when I was adding everything up, but it's okay. It would have helped if I had gotten a February Christmas Card... (HEAVY SIGH). Don't worry... I'll be okay in a little while.

Please remember this week, if you aren't interested in reading about Josh, go down the post a little bit and I will still have the party, recipe, tradition, date and book each day. But for now, here's the first part of our story...

Josh's Story - Part One

I'll start off by describing Josh in 6th grade. He was, and had always been a straight A student. He was funny and a leader in his class (as described by his teachers). He was a boy, but he was obedient. He was very close to Roxie and Austin. He was also very close to me and Mike. He was a talker. He didn't keep things inside. He was not a hard child to parent at all.

The beginning of Josh's story is incredibly easy to tell. It's the three years from the beginning until now that get so complicated. December 5, 2005 I pulled up to Josh's middle school where he was in 6th grade. He simply said, "I'm not getting out of the car." I thought he was kidding, and without looking back told him to hurry, he was holding up the car line. "I'm not getting out, and you can't make me." The words were not said loudly or defiantly. But they weren't said in a joking way either. I turned around in my seat and looked him in the eyes. There was absolutely no expression.

"What are you talking about, Josh? You need to get out of the car and go to class." Without taking his eyes off me, he opened the door and stepped out of the van. I told him to have a good day and drove off. Looking in my rear-view mirror I could see him standing there staring at the van.

Of course, the first thing I thought about was bullies. I called the school when I got home and talked to several teachers to see if they had noticed a problem. They knew of nothing going on and said they would watch. When I picked Josh up that afternoon, he was happy and excited and telling me about his day. When we arrived home, I spoke to him privately and asked him if anyone had been bothering him, teacher or student. "No, ma'am," he replied.

"Is there something you need to talk to me or Dad about?" I continued questioning.

"No, ma'am," he again replied.

We had a normal, good weekend. I didn't think much about what had happened on the 5th until the following Monday. We drove to the school. "I'm not getting out of the car," he said flatly. Again, no emotion, no anger, nothing.

"Josh, you have to get out. There are people waiting," I told him. Then tears began pouring out of his eyes. "I really can't get out of the car. If I get out of the car, I'm going to die."

"Josh, is someone threatening you?" I asked again. He shook his head, and without another word, he opened the door and stepped out of the car. He stood staring at me again, and as I pulled off, I watched him standing in the same spot until I was out of sight. When I picked him up in the afternoon, he was fine... happy, talkative, excited.

That was the last day he got out of the car willingly for school for two years.

During the 18 months prior to December 5, Josh had gone through a number of unusual events. He "played" with soap. I would find a bar of soap caked on the faucet, door handles and toilet flusher. It took forever to peel off, and I called him into the bathroom to ask him if he was responsible. "Yes, ma'am," he said evenly.

"Well, cut it out," I said irritably. "You're too old to be playing with soap."

"Yes, ma'am." Just as suddenly as it had started, it stopped.

Then we started getting up in the morning and most of the lights in the house would be on. "Who got up last night," we asked. Josh would reply he had either gone to the bathroom or gotten a drink. We now know he was just roaming because he was unable to sleep.

Then he began praying. We would watch him in church on Sunday, and he would pray the entire service, mouth moving silently, head twitching every now and then. He started praying during TV shows and movies, not making any sound, eyes closed, mouth moving and head twitching.

With each of these unsettling behaviors, we talked to his pediatrician. Because of my Dad's sudden death June 25, 2004, he attributed all of the odd behavior to the grieving process. Josh was the middle child. Austin, at 13, grieved as an adult. Roxie, at 7, grieved as a child. Josh, at 10, didn't really have a normal grieving release, and the doctor believed it came out in these strange behaviors.

In June of 2005, one year after my Dad's death, Josh began doubting his salvation. Again, our pediatrician told us it was not unusual for Josh to think more about his salvation and Heaven since he personally knew someone there he wanted to be with again. This made sense, and we began taking him to the pastor of the church I had grown up in for counseling. We went once a week for months, but to no avail. If anything, his doubting escalated. It escalated until December 5, 2005 when he was unable to go any further without help. We had been treating symptoms without knowing what the illness was, and from December 5 until December 12 everything came together. Washing, lights on all night (meaning he was up all night), unable to leave the house, non-stop praying and twitching... everything that had been happening over the last 18 months one thing at a time was now happening in a one week period at the same time... and the illness, diagnosis and severity of all the symptoms came to a head during that one week in December.

I'll end Part One of Josh's story by simply saying we went to a child psychiatrist our pediatrician recommended. He met with us for a few minutes and diagnosed Josh with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. He said Josh was a textbook case. He prescribed medication, and said in two to three weeks we should be able to see a difference. All the while, Josh was unable to go to school, and was washing and praying constantly. While we were glad to get a diagnosis, what we later found on the Internet was very disturbing. However, we continued to be hopeful since we were led to believe most patients could be treated very effectively with certain drugs.

Little did we know our nightmare was just beginning as Josh turned out to be in the minority of patients who did not respond normally to drug treatments. Before things would get better, we had two years of "worse" in front of us. We were told our family would have to get used to a new "normal," and until this past year (year three of his illness) we didn't know what the new "normal" would be... and we were very, very scared.

DISCLAIMER: Please know Mike and I know there are many parents and children dealing with life and death illnesses and much, much more debilitating conditions than what we are going to be talking about this week. We don't put ourselves in the same "category" with these parents or children. We feel the deepest compassion and sorrow for their pain and suffering. But in saying that, we firmly believe by talking about Josh's mental illness, others can and will be helped. Joshua's Journey has a purpose and a plan. We were surprised when Josh became so incredibly ill, but God was not. He has been there every step of the way... opening doors, helping us fight battles, giving us strength and wisdom. No, God was not surprised, and He is on Joshua's Journey with us each and every day.

It seems a little funny to talk about the above and then jump right into a fun party. However, in the past three years, that has been the only constant in my life that has kept me sane... the traditions, the fun we had in the past as a family, the traditions we continued to practice even during the worst days of our lives... and my beyond stubborn belief that one day we would have our family back again. We're back. We're not the same... we are forever changed. But we are back! More on that tomorrow. Today... we PARTY!

Wedding Party

The idea for this party started when I found some pretty lavender stationery at Hobby Lobby on sale (only $.66 for 10 sheets). On the side of the stationery was a wedding dress. On the opposite side it was blank and you could write your own invitation to a small wedding or a shower.

I decided to have a Wedding Party. We would put the television set on the deck and put candles all around... citronella candles, but candles just the same. We would watch Father of the Bride (the Steve Martin version), and it would be FUN! Think, think, think... who should I invite? I decided my Mom, sister, niece, two female cousins, their two daughters, my aunt and my grandmother. I set the table with a lavender tablecloth and I served finger foods. We had lavender plates, napkins and lime green sherbet punch. (See the pictures in the Gallery.) Of course, candles were a must while we ate with soft music in the background.

I had bought strips of tulle ribbon, and Roxie and I made long bows for the girls to wear in the back of their hair as the veil.

After we had eaten, we all went outside and enjoyed Father of the Bride. When it came time for the toast in the movie, we paused the DVD, and I brought out plastic wine glasses and we all enjoyed sparkling cider during the toast. It was a big hit. Again, it was not hard to put together, and watching it under the stars was very romantic. Plus, the younger cousins had never seen the movie before, so it was completely new to them.

I worded the invitation as follows:

Mr. and Mrs. George Banks

Request the pleasure of your company

At the marriage of their daughter

Annie

and

Mr. Bryan MacKenzie

on Thursday evening, June 12, 2008

At 6:30 in the evening

Dinner will be served.

Wedding attire will be provided.

Translation: We'll be eating dinner and

watching the movie Father of the Bride on

the back deck under the stars. Dress

comfortably (veils will be provided...

along with bug spray). The two parts of

the movie that might be considered

"questionable" will be fast forwarded. I

know exactly where they are!

I used the real names of the characters in the movie, and the Translation told them everything they needed to know in "real life" terms.

Have a good time with this one. Easy, affordable and fun... the best ingredients for any party you host!

We've had a wonderful three-day weekend... which means we are very much looking forward to the four-day week ahead. Enjoy your Monday. Make a moment with your family... even if it has to be a five-minute moment. Remember what Jody said in one of her recent posts (Nitty Gritty)... Moments Matter! Truer words have never been spoken!

I'll be back tomorrow with an easy, light pound cake even your two year-old could bake. Well, not really your two year-old. But he/she could certainly help stir.

Talk to you tomorrow.