Dad/Daughter Valentine's Day Date

Good Thursday morning!

Three words... LOST LAST NIGHT! (I saw Jin on a talk show two days ago. He doesn't know what is going on either, and he has access to the scripts! I don't feel so bad!) Two words... SURVIVOR TONIGHT! Four more words... AMAZING RACE SUNDAY NIGHT!!! For those of you worried about Faulkner Television Overload, please keep in mind we don't watch American Idol, Bachelor, The Biggest Loser, etc., etc., etc. We're okay... really.

Also, if you want some more Valentine's Day ideas, click on Lisa's Blog and Becky's Blog on my Blog List. They have some elegant decoration ideas, cookie ideas, etc. Very pretty.

If you haven't already seen it, please rent or buy Fireproof and watch it with your family. It teaches wonderful lessons about how to maintain and protect your marriage and family. We watched it with all three kids after out Banquet... it was a great teaching tool. I highly recommend it!

Story #3 - Blind Date Week - She Didn't Eat the Fish

Another friend... another fix-up... another not-so-good blind date. This was a new friend from UAB. She was beautiful and funny and easy to talk to. We got along very well... and then she messed everything up! She asked me if she could fix me up with her brother. "Oh, that never really works out for me," I whined. I then proceeded to tell her a few of the blind date stories.

"This will be different. You are perfect for each other," she insisted. I didn't have the heart to tell her nine other "perfect-for-me" guys had bit the dust, so I agreed.

To her brother's credit, we had a great telephone conversation... not to be taken lightly in Blind Date circles. We decided to go out to eat, and then back to his sister's house to play cards. That was a pretty good date. Again, just one or two hours eating out before I would be with someone I enjoyed if the blind date wasn't going well. I could do this.

He picked me up on time. He was nice, fairly easy to talk to and polite. I was once again wearing a newly purchased outfit and my hands and feet were soft as rose petals or a baby's butt or whatever you think is the softest thing you've ever felt. (Just trying to set the stage for the story, folks!)

We went to a mutually agreed-upon seafood restaurant and sat down to order. I probably ordered flounder or snapper. I'm not a shrimp or shellfish person, but I do like fish. They brought our salads first. I like salad. I will eat a salad. However, eating on a blind date is very tricky, and I usually found it difficult to eat a great deal on a first date. I ate a bite or two, but didn't finish the entire salad. "Is your salad not good?" my polite date inquired.

"No, no. It's fine. I'm just saving room for the fish." That answer seemed reasonable to him, and he nodded approval.

Then the fish arrived. It was very good. I had a baked potato on the side. I ate almost half of the fish and a few bites of the potato. (Really and truly, eating in front of someone new is very difficult. Refer back to my "straw up my nose" story if you don't believe me.) "What's wrong with your fish and potato?" my less-than-polite date inquired.

"Nothing. It is very good. I get full really fast."

"Did you eat something before the date?" my quickly-becoming-rude date asked.

"No. Nothing at all," I answered. I didn't have the heart to tell him that blind dates actually made me sick to my stomach, and I hadn't eaten since the day before.

"Well, that's a lot of food to waste," my now RUDE date observed.

Okay. I understand he didn't want to waste a lot of money, but in my defense, I ordered one of the least expensive things on the menu, and I wasn't planning on ordering dessert. I mean, 25 years ago we're probably talking $7.95 plus tax. (And I was about to slam $10 down in front of him, and tell him to eat it himself!)

He then asked the waiter for a "to go" box. "Oh. I appreciate it, but usually I don't eat seafood leftovers. They get a little mushy," I explained.

"It's not for you," my now OBNOXIOUS date mumbled. (I know I said "no date bashing," but you've got to admit... Okay. I'll stop.)

We headed to his sister's house to play cards. As soon as she opened the door and asked, "Well, how was dinner?" and he replied, "She didn't eat all of her fish," I knew things were not going to end well.

That being said, I decided to take the gloves off and just be myself playing cards. Let it be known here and now that in my younger days (and also last week), I was a very obnoxious game player. (NOTE: I used the word "obnoxious" to describe me, also. That should cancel out calling my blind date obnoxious. As always, I want the credit.)

I really didn't care if I won or lost, but I always thought it was funny if I was winning to be a little louder than I should, or tease a little more than I should... especially if I was playing someone who was a sore loser. (I don't like playing with sore losers.) I felt I was teaching them a valuable life lesson on how to lose with dignity. Yeah. That's the ticket. A life lesson.

In actuality, Mike told me many years later although he thought it was hilarious to watch me play a game, most people did not. With age comes wisdom. Not everyone is as funny as I am, and not everyone has as good a sense of humor as I do. (Not to mention humility.) It's just a fact. I have had to accept it, and move on.

However, 25 years ago, I still thought it was hilarious. My blind date did not. (He was a sore loser.) After we left his sister's house, we were riding home, and I was still high on winning. He was still disgruntled from losing. "You know, your whole car smells like flounder. That's another reason I don't take fish home from a restaurant," I said cheerfully. Not the right thing to say.

He didn't walk me to the door. He didn't pretend he was going to call me later. That was okay.

His sister later told me he just couldn't stand wasting good money on a girl who wouldn't eat perfectly good fish. I told her out of the $7.95 plus tax he had spent on me, I know I had eaten a good $5 worth. (I thought about mailing him the $2.95 difference, but that would probably have been tacky, wouldn't it?)

See, I told you this one was 100% my fault. Tomorrow I will share the story of my first blind date ever... which happened to be my very first date ever. And that will be it for the blind date stories. I have had tremendous ups and downs this week reliving these dates. But, retelling these stories has made me even more thankful for Mikie. (I'm a very firm believer now, at age 47, in dating your best friend. I wish had known that 25 years ago!)

Dad/Daughter Valentine's Day Date

This idea was in my break-out session handout in January, so for those of you who received the handout, I'm sorry. However, I did want everyone to have a chance to go on this date, so it will have to be a repeat for some of you.

If your church has a Father/Daughter Banquet in February, that is wonderful. However, if your church does not have this Banquet, or your daughter is now too old to attend, have Dad take his little girl on a very special date. Let her pick out her best dress (or even buy a new one if it is in the budget), take a long bubble bath, and fix her hair and make-up (if she is old enough for make-up). Dad should wear a suit and tie (or at least a sport coat). Make it special!!!

Let Dad plan the evening with a trip to a special restaurant (NOT McDonald's)... just the two of them. Do it year after year. (It doesn't have to be ON Valentine's Day night. Just an evening in February will do.)

Roxie has already bought a new sweater and necklace and is planning on how to fix her hair. Mike won't tell her which restaurant they are going to... only that they have never eaten there before. I hope she is just as excited when she's 16 as she is when she's 12! Start early with your little girl to carve out this time with her Dad. It's never too early to learn how a good date is supposed to treat you. She should expect the best when a young man comes to pick her up for an evening out... and her Daddy can teach her this lesson by example, and give her the confidence to accept nothing less than respect and courtesy from anyone she chooses to date.

Of course, Roxie will not be dating young men for 11 or 12 more years, so she's going to have lots and lots of practice!

VARIATION #1 - Mom, you can take your little man out on a special date, too. Teach them to open the car door, hold the restaurant door, pull out the chair, use their manners, etc., etc., etc. Of course, make it fun. Depending on their age, they probably will not want to dress up, and they may prefer a Logan's style restaurant with peanuts on the floor instead of "fancy." That's okay. Ask any teacher in elementary school, and she will tell you children learn when the teacher is inventive, fun and engaging. Mom, that's you! Are we all raising the kind of young men we want our daughters to date?

Three words... DATE, DATE, DATE! Three more words... TALK, TALK, TALK! Start when they are young and keep it up!

Deuteronomy 6:5-9, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. Always remember these commands I give you today. Teach them to your children and talk about them when you sit at home and walk along the road. When you lie down and when you get up. Write them down and tie them on your hands as a sign. Tie them on your forehead to remind you, write them on your doors and gates." We've got a lot of work to do, so let's get busy and teach our children the things in life that really, really matter!

Tomorrow's book is for adults, young and old, but it is a must read.

I hope you have a great Thursday, and I'll talk to you tomorrow.